I’ve been in Madrid for almost 2 weeks now. My luggage didn’t arrive with my plane. I was without my luggage for 6 days. I was just thankful that Iberia actually found it and delivered it. 

This first picture is a line of the people who had misconnections. I felt bad for them because it was an extremely slow (Spain 🙄) moving line and misconnections often inspire a sense of urgency for action. At one point, an impatient customer started clapping and got most the rest of the line to start clapping as well, to signal to the front of the line to move it along. It seemed as though the customer service representatives did not have the tools they needed in order to solve many of the problems they were brought, as they turned away many dissatisfied customers. 

Those first 6 days were definitely a test for me. I felt unable to start on the agenda items I wanted to do in Madrid. I felt bound without stuff, stuck in my clothes. It calls to mind the teachings on groundlessness.

“… Mahavipashyana experience can also lead to celebration. It depends on your attitude. If your attitude is that the world is playing a trick on you, you will complain to everybody or at least try to find a source of complaint, so that your ground will be solid and your ideas will be appreciated. However, if you don’t have that attitude of competitiveness, then realizing that there is no ground becomes a source of celebration and joy.
At this stage, the experience that you have nothing to hold on to is continual. And that experience will go on, until at a certain level of vajrayana takes a different form, with further sophistication. However, in this case it is just a simple experience that you exist, but at the same time you do not have any ground. You have no ground because awareness is constant, and the characteristic of awareness is emptiness. Awareness does not have a portrait, a reflection, or identification. So a positive feeling of nothingness becomes very real at the stage of teshin mikpa, or Mahavipashyana experience.
In mahavipashyana, it is as though you have been released. It is like catching a fly and throwing it out the window so that the fly flies away rather than being squashed on the table. The idea of release or Liberation in Mahavipashyana discipline is to have a glimpse of groundlessness. The basic idea is that The closer you are to enlighten mind, the more your development takes you in that direction, the more groundless you are.”
-CTR
The Path of Individual Liberation

I was hosted in Madrid by my good friend Alejandro. I am thankful to have such a gracious and generous host. We shared many good conversations, meals, and walks around his neighborhood. I met his friend Mayo who stayed over for a few nights.

On one evening, Alejandro had a friend come and visit, Pilar. We all had a mutual friend named Javi, who recently passed away due to carbon monoxide poisoning from having put some hot coals in his air-tight sealed accommodations in Armenia. Pilar was his travel companion on the trip. She felt that his soul was still lingering around, unable to find peace, unable to believe the reality that he had died in his sleep, and move on. I suggested we do a ceremony to call him to us in order to explain to him what had happened and advise him on the next steps that he should take. Although his family and friends did have a burial ceremony for him, this was different, as this ceremony was more about instructing him on how to move on and what had happened. I believe it brought some closure to uneasy minds.

My baggage came the day after this. I had money missing. It wasn’t a lot, but I was still upset. I decided not to put in a claim after being on hold for the first 10 minutes, getting tired of trying to process/ translate the Spanish instructions of the Iberia customer hotline, and then realizing the absurdity of trying to get help from Iberia . There is a theme of letting go that came up constantly in these past 2 weeks. Some battles are just not worth fighting. I was ready to go out and do something. 

Pilar had mentioned that she had recently gone to this alternative healing location just outside of Madrid. Alejandro and Mayo were both interested so we went to visit. The place was called Foro Ciencias Espirituales y Therapias Naturales. It was a little healing retreat about 45 minutes outside of Madrid. There was a big garden area with different animals. There was a little school for children. They advocated and served macrobiotic food. This was very interesting, as this was the first time I’ve come across this philosophy of nutrition in such detail. It made sense to me, and since the visit, I have been modifying my diet accordingly. The founder was named Consuelo Lopez. She practices Jin Shin Jyutsu, another first encounter for me. This therapy is like a cross between reiki and acupressure. The practitioner lays their hands on various points of the body depending on the ailments. The hands remain there for a few minutes before moving on to the next set of points. During my session, she told me that she was touching the points that would release old stagnant energy. During the next moments, I felt an uncontrollable urge to laugh. It was as though some dark ethereal blanket over me had been removed. I fell asleep during the session. I woke up feeling as though I had a long restful deep sleep. My inner felt peace was strong and unable to be interrupted. I felt this way for a day and a half after the session.

A few days later, I headed over to the city center and then to Retiro park to do some busking. I used to do this for a living back when I was traveling. I wanted to relive the sensation of being able to perform in public without the fear of state persecution and with the ambiance of general public acceptance. It’s an indescribable sensation to be able to express/perform your art in public and to be able to get tipped for it. It certainly brought up a lot for me; insecurity, bravery, fear, joy, exhaustion. At the end of the evening I made it back home with very tired legs. I was happy to have done it and happy to not need to do that as a living anymore. It was a good experience that I don’t think I will have to repeat for a long time. Another experience of letting go.

Two days later, I wanted to relive the Spanish club experience. Having been to parties all around the world, I can tell you that Spanish clubs are amongst the best. Over the years I have missed being able to go to that kind of venue dearly. On Friday night I headed out to Chueca, the gay/ clubbing district in Madrid. I arrived at around 10:30 p.m., much too early to really see anything happening. Madrid is notorious for starting their evenings late. I checked out a few different clubs, but I couldn’t find music that I resonated with. A bouncer told me about this one club that was about a 20-minute walk away. As I walked in that direction, I crossed a couple of other neighborhoods. I was surprised but also not so surprised, that people were out and about socializing, eating, and drinking everywhere, not just in Chueca. It was already past midnight at this point. I got to my new location only to find that the club had been closed down. I decided to go to another club that was about another 20 minute walk further away from the center. I got there to find a lovely big venue that was empty and playing reggaetón music. I decided to leave and call it a night. By the time I got home it was around 3am. The scene had changed! It used to be effortless to find a great party here.

The next day I decided to do some research. I bought I ticket to this DJ event that was to take place at a “secret location.” After purchasing the ticket, I had Alejandro called the hotline that was emailed to me in order to get the address. It was outside the center of Madrid.

It was in this industrial warehouse area next to some neighborhood. It reminded me of the parties I used to go to in Brooklyn. I wandered down this dark deserted street looking for the place. It was around 12:30 a.m. Luckily there was a cafe nearby full of people. I asked for directions. They pointed me in the direction of where I had just came. I saw one guy come out of a taxi and go up to a locked gate. He was approached by a man on the opposite side of the gate. He unlocked it and let him in. I approached the gate. The man approach as well and asked me what I wanted. I asked him if this was the location of the party. He let me in and locked the gate behind me. I felt as though I should be extra attentive. The man pointed me to a door in a dark corner of the courtyard. As I approached, the door opened up and I found a club. It was a small venue.
I was the first one there, other than the staff and the dj. I was relieved to have found the party and to be alive. Within 20 minutes more people started to arrive. The party was relatively good. I experienced many things. I actually made a list during the night.

Self conscious
Elation
Low grade headache
Paranoia
Apathy
Bliss from an external source
Want to get out
Brave
Breaking the mold
Tired legs
Am I sexy
I am sexy
Strong
I am loved and appreciated
Smoke in my eyes
Strings of light
Staying in my body
This is what I’ve been missing… ! ..? … Repeat
Alone
Jiving
Hungry
Irritated eyes
Tired legs
Cruising
Grasping
Happy 
I can let go
Burning eyes
Ready to go
Hungry
Let go of cruising
Great, 2nd peak
Still hungry.. but not so bad
Cleared of obstacles
The roller coaster goes up and down constantly
Go after him
He’s already walked away.. not interested
Grasping resurfacing
I crave touch
Want to capture the moment
Fitting in …. This is my lost alien tribe.. where did I go?

Near the end of the party, I met this pretty girl, Clo. We exchange numbers and I headed home.

I ended up getting home at around 9:30 a.m. completely exhausted and reeking of secondhand smoke.

Similar to the busking experience, something had changed. I’m glad that I did it because now it paves the way to letting go of needing to experience this all the time. Perhaps it’s because I sensationalized a memory, or perhaps it was because I have changed, or the music has changed, or maybe it was all of the above. In any case, there is a big psychological burden that was lifted because now I feel that the Spanish club party isn’t something that I have to have to keep working to pursue. The memory of the ecstasy of dancing out in the clubs, the feeling of the music penetrating my essence, didn’t exactly match up to what I experienced on this particular evening. For the letting go of this particular sense attachment, I am grateful and much lighter. On my way back home, I walked past this cool space of land that was being used as a garden that looked like it would have otherwise been unutilized.

I just want to mention how much I love all of the fresh bread in the supermarkets here, although I can’t have any of it.
I also have to make mention of Alejandro’s yard as it seems to have its own persona. Alejandro is the process of excavating the yard of this home he inherited. During the construction, all the trash was dumped in the back and covered with dirt. Now Alejandro has the vision to convert this space into a harmonious garden with a waterway. He is digging 1.5 meters into the ground to pull up all of the waste! He is creating a solid foundation for healthy soil. So important and admirable. I’ve no doubt this will be a lush fertile garden.

In summary:

The beat goes on and on.
❤️